{"id":158,"date":"2026-07-23T08:01:00","date_gmt":"2026-07-23T08:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/?p=158"},"modified":"2026-08-12T21:21:06","modified_gmt":"2026-08-12T21:21:06","slug":"the-surgery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/the-surgery\/","title":{"rendered":"THE SURGERY"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Facing the Unknown and Finding Strength<\/h2>\n\n

\n There is something surreal about walking into a hospital knowing that when\n you wake up, a part of your body will be gone.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n My radical prostatectomy wasn’t simply a medical procedure.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It represented hope.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Fear.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Loss.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Possibility.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And the belief that removing the prostate might remove the cancer with it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n At that point in the journey, surgery felt like one of the biggest Mile Markers\n we would ever cross.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I knew recovery would come afterward.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n What I didn’t fully understand yet was how much surgery would teach me \u2014\n not only about recovery, but about cancer, uncertainty, dependence, progress,\n and the difference between what we hope is true and what the next piece of\n information may reveal.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Preparing for Surgery Is Not the Same as Living It<\/h2>\n\n

\n Before surgery, you hear about recovery.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Catheters.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Pelvic-floor exercises.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Continence.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sexual function.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Pain.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Walking.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Healing.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n You can read about those things.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n You can ask questions about them.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n You can prepare for them intellectually.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Living them is different.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n There is a difference between knowing that recovery may involve a catheter\n and actually living your days around one.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n There is a difference between hearing that continence may take time and\n discovering what that means in everyday life.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n There is a difference between talking about recovery before surgery and\n waking up afterward realizing that recovery is no longer theoretical.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Now it is your life.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Recovery Takes Away Some of the Things We Take for Granted<\/h2>\n\n

\n Cancer treatment has a way of stripping away some of the privacy and\n independence we rarely think about until they are gone.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Suddenly, things you never imagined discussing become part of everyday\n conversation.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Bathroom habits.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Leakage.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Tubes.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Pain.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sexual function.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Whether you need help getting up.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Whether you are ready to walk a little farther.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Things that once felt private can become clinical, practical, and necessary.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That can be humbling.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It can also be frustrating.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n For me, part of recovery was learning that needing help for a while did not\n mean I had stopped moving forward.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Sue Was There for All of It<\/h2>\n\n

\n And through all of it, Sue was there.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That part of the story matters.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Cancer may happen inside one person’s body, but it reaches far beyond the patient.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Recovery affects the person sitting beside the bed.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The person keeping track of instructions.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The person helping with things you never imagined needing help with.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The person wondering whether what you are experiencing is normal.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The person trying to encourage you while carrying fears of their own.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sue was not simply watching my recovery.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n She was living a version of it beside me.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That is one of the reasons I have come to think of the caregiver as the\n co-pilot on this journey.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The patient may be the one in the hospital gown.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But neither person travels the road alone.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

I Had to Redefine Progress<\/h2>\n\n

\n There were days when I was frustrated.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Days when I was scared.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Days when progress felt much too slow.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And then there were moments when something small felt enormous.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Walking a little farther.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Getting one tube removed.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Needing a little less help.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Having a better day than the day before.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Recovery taught me to redefine progress.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Before cancer, I think I often measured progress by large milestones.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Finish the project.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Reach the goal.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Solve the problem.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Recovery doesn’t always work that way.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes progress is quiet.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes it is measured in steps rather than miles.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes progress is simply:\n <\/p>\n\n

\n

\n Today was a little better than yesterday.<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n I learned to respect those victories.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Then Surgery Gave Us Information We Weren’t Expecting<\/h2>\n\n

\n Surgery was supposed to remove the prostate.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But it also gave us something else:\n <\/p>\n\n

\n More information.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And that information changed the road ahead.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The final pathology showed that the cancer was more aggressive and more\n extensive than we had hoped.\n <\/p>\n\n