{"id":171,"date":"2026-08-01T08:21:00","date_gmt":"2026-08-01T08:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/?p=171"},"modified":"2026-08-12T20:21:39","modified_gmt":"2026-08-12T20:21:39","slug":"the-purpose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/the-purpose\/","title":{"rendered":"THE PURPOSE"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\n

At First, I Was Just Trying to Make Sense of What Was Happening<\/h2>\n\n

\n Jonesing For The Journey did not begin because I had some grand plan\n to build a prostate cancer platform.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It began because life had changed.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sue and I were trying to understand what was happening to us,\n what came next, and how a future we had spent years imagining\n had suddenly become something very different.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n At first, sharing the journey was simply a way to document it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The appointments.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The decisions.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The surgery.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The recovery.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The questions.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The moments when we thought we understood the road \u2014\n and the moments when the road changed again.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I was telling the story before I knew how the story would end.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n In many ways, I still am.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Then Something Started Happening<\/h2>\n\n

\n People began reaching out.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Some had just been diagnosed.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Some were preparing for surgery.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Some were dealing with leakage, sexual side effects, hormone therapy,\n radiation, PSA anxiety, or the uncertainty that comes with waiting\n for another test result.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Some were spouses and caregivers trying to figure out how to help\n someone they loved while managing fears of their own.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And many of them were asking questions that sounded very familiar.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n

Where do I even start?<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n

What do I need to ask?<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n

What do you wish you had known before this happened?<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n That was when the purpose of sharing started to change.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

The Story Could Become Useful<\/h2>\n\n

\n I cannot change what happened to us.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I cannot go back and erase the diagnosis.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I cannot remove the fear Sue and I felt.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I cannot undo the surgery, the pathology, the uncertainty,\n or the parts of treatment that changed our lives.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But I began to realize that maybe the lessons did not have\n to stop with us.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n\n

\n The Thought That Changed the Purpose\n <\/h3>\n\n

\n \n The pain was ours. The lesson didn’t have to be.\n <\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n

\n If something we learned could help another patient arrive at an appointment\n with one better question, that mattered.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n If sharing an uncomfortable part of recovery could help another man feel\n less blindsided by his own experience, that mattered.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n If Sue talking honestly about caregiving could help another spouse feel seen,\n that mattered.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n If our mistakes could help someone else avoid one, that mattered.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The story could become more than a record of what happened.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It could become useful.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Purpose Does Not Make the Pain Necessary<\/h2>\n\n

\n I want to be careful with the word purpose<\/em>.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I do not believe cancer happened because I needed a purpose.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I do not believe suffering automatically happens for a reason.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And I would never tell someone going through something painful that\n they should somehow be grateful for the lesson hidden inside it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n There are things I would gladly have lived my entire life without learning.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n There are experiences Sue and I would gladly give back.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Purpose does not make suffering necessary.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n For me, purpose means something different.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n

\n \n Purpose gives us a choice about what suffering produces next.\n <\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n\n

What Could This Experience Produce Next?<\/h2>\n\n

\n That became a more useful question for me.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The cancer was already here.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The surgery had already happened.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The pathology could not be rewritten.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The road had already changed.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n So what could we do with what we had learned?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n We could share the journey honestly.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n We could explain the things we wish someone had explained to us.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n We could create practical resources.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n We could encourage people to take a more active role in their own care.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n We could make room for the caregiver’s experience instead of telling\n only the patient’s side of the story.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n We could remind someone going through a frightening diagnosis that\n they are not the first person to feel overwhelmed by all of this.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n We could help someone ask one more question.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Ask One More Question Became Part of the Mission<\/h2>\n\n

\n By this point in the journey, one lesson had followed me through almost\n every stage of prostate cancer:\n <\/p>\n\n

\n\n

\n \n Never make an important decision based on a single piece of information.\n Ask one more question.\n <\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n

\n That does not mean assuming your doctor is wrong.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It does not mean rejecting medical expertise.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It means staying involved.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Understanding what you can.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Asking what the test tells you.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Asking what it does not tell you.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Asking what your options are.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Asking why a particular treatment is being recommended.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Asking what happens if the first plan is not enough.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That became part of the purpose of JFTJ.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Not telling people what decision to make.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Helping them feel more prepared to participate in the decision.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Take an Active Interest in Your Own Rescue<\/h2>\n\n

\n Another idea began taking shape alongside it:\n <\/p>\n\n

\n

\n Take an active interest in your own rescue.<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n To me, that does not mean trying to become your own physician.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It does not mean doing everything yourself.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It means understanding that you are part of the healthcare team too.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Learn enough to participate.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Keep track of your information.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Notice trends.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Bring someone with you when you can.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Write down your questions.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Ask for clarification when something does not make sense.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Follow up when something feels unresolved.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n You may not control the diagnosis.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n You may not control what the next test shows.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But you can choose whether you remain an active participant in what happens next.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

The Caregiver Needed a Place in the Story Too<\/h2>\n\n

\n Something else became increasingly clear as JFTJ grew.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n This could not be only my story.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sue had been there through every Mile Marker.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sitting beside me.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Driving.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Listening.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Remembering what I forgot.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Helping me through recovery.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Adjusting her plans every time mine changed.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Carrying fears I could not always see because I was busy carrying my own.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Cancer happened in my body.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But the journey happened to both of us.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That is why the caregiver perspective matters so much to me.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sue is not simply standing beside the story.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n She is the co-pilot.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Her view from the passenger seat belongs in the journey too.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Sometimes Purpose Is Smaller Than We Think<\/h2>\n\n

\n When people hear the word purpose, I think we sometimes imagine something enormous.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n A movement.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n An organization.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n A book.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n A platform.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Something that reaches thousands of people.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But I have learned that purpose can be much smaller than that.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And smaller does not mean less important.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Purpose might be answering the phone when someone has just been diagnosed.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It might be driving someone to an appointment.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It might be explaining one thing you learned the hard way.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It might be noticing the caregiver in the room.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It might be telling someone they are allowed to ask another question.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It might be sharing one part of your story that makes another person\n feel a little less alone.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Purpose does not have to be loud.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes it is simply useful.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

JFTJ Became Bigger Than My Cancer<\/h2>\n\n

\n Somewhere along the way, I realized Jonesing For The Journey could not\n remain only a record of my prostate cancer treatment.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Prostate cancer may have been the thing that forced us onto this road.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But the lessons were becoming bigger than prostate cancer.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Ask better questions.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Pay attention to the information in front of you.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Do not assume one answer is the whole answer.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Notice the caregiver.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Help someone when you can.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Keep living while life is uncertain.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Those lessons belong in cancer care.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But they also belong in caregiving.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Recovery.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Aging.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Retirement.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Loss.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Reinvention.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And almost any unexpected turn in the road.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Why Share the Journey Before Knowing the Ending?<\/h2>\n\n

\n There is something uncomfortable about telling a story while you are still living it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I cannot promise how my story ends.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I cannot tell you what the next scan will show.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I cannot guarantee what future treatment will look like.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I cannot wrap this journey in a neat ending and tell you everything worked out\n exactly the way we hoped.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But maybe that is part of the point.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Most people facing cancer do not get to wait until the ending to start living.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Neither do we.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n So I would rather share the journey honestly while we are walking it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The uncertainty.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The setbacks.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The small victories.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The wrong turns.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The questions.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The lessons.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And the hope.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

The Purpose Is Not to Have All the Answers<\/h2>\n\n

\n JFTJ is not built around the idea that I have figured all of this out.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I haven’t.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I am still learning.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Still asking questions.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Still adjusting plans.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Still encountering things I did not expect.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The purpose is not to stand at the end of the road and tell everyone\n else how to travel it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The purpose is to leave a few Mile Markers behind.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n This is what happened here.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n This is what we learned.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n This is what surprised us.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n This is the question I wish I had asked.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n This is what Sue experienced from the passenger seat.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n This is what might help when you reach this part of the road.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

\n\n

\n One Mile Marker at a Time\n <\/h3>\n\n

\n Purpose does not have to begin with a complete plan.\n Sometimes it starts with one lesson, one story, one question,\n or one person you can help.\n <\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n\n

Purpose Has to Become Action<\/h2>\n\n

\n Eventually, purpose cannot remain only an idea.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It has to become something you do.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That means continuing to tell the story.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Creating resources that may make the road easier for someone else.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Making room for caregiver voices.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Supporting advocacy.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Encouraging patients to participate in their own care.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Showing up when someone needs to hear:\n <\/p>\n\n

\n

\n You are not walking this road alone.<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n And when opportunities come to turn what we have learned into something useful,\n saying yes when we can.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Not someday.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Now.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

What I Hope You Take From This Mile Marker<\/h2>\n\n

\n I hope you never feel pressure to turn something painful into some grand mission.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes surviving the experience is enough.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes healing is enough.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes simply getting through today is enough.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But if there comes a time when something you learned can help someone else,\n that opportunity may be worth noticing.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Maybe your purpose is one conversation.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n One question.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n One ride to an appointment.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n One story you are willing to tell.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n One person who feels less alone because you showed up.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I cannot change what cancer brought into our lives.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But Sue and I can choose what we do with what it taught us.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That is where the purpose began.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And that purpose leads directly to the next Mile Marker:\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Paying Hope Forward.<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n

\n\n

\n Continue the Journey\n <\/p>\n\n

\n What to Read Next\n <\/h2>\n\n

\n Paying Hope Forward<\/a><\/strong>
\n See how that purpose became a commitment to turn what we learned into something useful for the next person.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The Question<\/a><\/strong>
\n Read the patient-advocacy principle at the center of nearly everything JFTJ now stands for.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The Co-Pilot<\/a><\/strong>
\n See why the JFTJ mission includes caregivers and spouses just as intentionally as patients.\n <\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n

\n\n

\n About Mike Jones\n <\/h3>\n\n

\n Mike Jones is the creator of Jonesing For The Journey<\/em>, where he\n shares his first-hand experience navigating prostate cancer diagnosis,\n treatment, recovery, caregiving, and patient advocacy.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Mike and his wife Sue share the journey from both sides of the road \u2014\n the patient and the co-pilot \u2014 with the goal of helping patients and\n families ask better questions, understand the information in front of them,\n and feel less alone along the way.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Important:<\/strong>\n The experiences and perspectives shared on Jonesing For The Journey are\n personal and are provided for informational and educational purposes.\n They are not medical advice. Individual diagnoses, treatment decisions,\n and circumstances vary. Always discuss your own medical care with your\n healthcare team.\n <\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n\n

\n And So\u2026The Adventure Continues.<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n<\/article>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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