{"id":594,"date":"2026-08-14T19:22:33","date_gmt":"2026-08-14T19:22:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/?p=594"},"modified":"2026-09-29T19:23:40","modified_gmt":"2026-09-29T19:23:40","slug":"the-90-day-clock","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/the-90-day-clock\/","title":{"rendered":"The 90-Day Clock"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\n

Every 90 Days, My Life Changes. Or Maybe It Doesn’t.<\/h2>\n\n

\n That is the strange part.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I don’t know until the number comes back.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Every three months, I have another blood test.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n One draw.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n One laboratory result.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Three little letters:\n <\/p>\n\n

\n

PSA.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n For most people, it might look like another appointment on a calendar.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n For me, it can feel much bigger than that.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Because that number may help determine whether we keep following the same road\n or whether the treatment conversation changes again.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The blood draw takes only a few minutes.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The waiting can occupy your mind for weeks.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

I Started Living in 90-Day Chapters<\/h2>\n\n

\n Before cancer, Sue and I thought about life in years.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Retirement.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Travel.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The RV.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Alaska.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Grandkids.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The things we would do someday when there was finally enough time.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Cancer changed the way I experienced the calendar.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Instead of looking years ahead, I sometimes found myself looking only as far\n as the next test.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Ninety days.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Then another 90.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Then another.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It almost felt as though my future had been divided into three-month chapters.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

\n\n

\n The 90-Day Clock\n <\/h3>\n\n

\n \n Ninety days is long enough to make plans\u2014but sometimes short enough\n to wonder whether you should.\n <\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n\n

The Waiting Starts Long Before the Blood Draw<\/h2>\n\n

\n The anxiety does not begin when the needle goes into my arm.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It starts earlier.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Three weeks until the next PSA.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Ten days.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Next week.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Tomorrow morning.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n As the date gets closer, something changes.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n An ache that I might have ignored six weeks earlier suddenly gets my attention.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n A pain becomes suspicious.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n A restless night makes the imagination start working overtime.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Is that something?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Is it nothing?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Am I overthinking it?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Is this what recurrence feels like?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The rational part of my brain may know there are countless reasons for a normal\n ache or pain.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Cancer gives the irrational part of the brain a microphone.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Then Comes the Patient Portal<\/h2>\n\n

\n Anyone who has waited for an important medical result probably understands this.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n You know the result will eventually appear.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n So you check.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Nothing.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Check again.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Still nothing.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Maybe the phone buzzes.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Your heart jumps for half a second.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Wrong notification.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Back to waiting.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n There is something strange about knowing that a number already exists somewhere\n in a laboratory system while you are still waiting to see it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And when it finally appears, everything seems to slow down for a moment.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

PSA Became More Than a Number<\/h2>\n\n

\n Long before surgery, PSA had already taught me an important lesson.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I became concerned not simply because of one isolated result, but because of\n the direction the numbers were moving.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That experience changed how I look at medical information.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I still want to know today’s number.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But I also want to know:\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Where was it before?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Where is it now?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Is there a trend?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Is the trend meaningful?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n What does my doctor think it means in the context of everything else we know?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That distinction became part of one of the central lessons of this entire journey.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

\n\n

\n Know the Number. Know the Trend.\n <\/h3>\n\n

\n \n Never make an important decision based on a single piece of information.\n Ask one more question.\n <\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n\n

One Result Can Change the Conversation<\/h2>\n\n

\n That is what gives these tests so much emotional weight.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n A PSA result is information.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But depending on the situation, new information can lead to new questions.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Do we repeat the test?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Is the change meaningful?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Do we need imaging?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Does treatment stay the same?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Do we need to talk about something different?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That is why it can feel like so much more than simply getting blood drawn.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The result represents possibility.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes reassuring possibility.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes frightening possibility.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

The Hardest Part Is Not Knowing<\/h2>\n\n

\n I already know I have prostate cancer.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That uncertainty is gone.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n A different uncertainty replaced it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n What happens next?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n How will treatment respond?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n What will the next number show?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Will something eventually change?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And if it does, where does the road go from there?\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Those thoughts can become enormous if I let them.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I cannot eliminate every one of them.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I have had to learn instead how to give fear a place without giving it control.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

\n\n

\n A Lesson From the Waiting\n <\/p>\n\n

\n \n Fear gets a chair. It does not get the steering wheel.\n <\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n\n

That Does Not Mean Pretending I Am Not Scared<\/h2>\n\n

\n I do not think pretending fear does not exist makes me stronger.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Some days I am scared.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Some days I admit it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes I pray.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes I talk to Sue.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes I write.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sometimes I simply acknowledge:\n <\/p>\n\n

\n

I’m scared today.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n There is something freeing about being honest about that.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Fear does not disappear because I refuse to say its name.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But naming it can sometimes make it smaller.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Sue Is Waiting Too<\/h2>\n\n

\n One of the mistakes I could easily make is thinking of PSA anxiety as something\n that belongs only to me.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It doesn’t.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sue knows when the test is coming.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n She knows when we are waiting for the result.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n She knows what it could mean if the conversation changes.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n She may not experience that anxiety exactly the way I do.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But she is living beside the same clock.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That is another part of the caregiver journey that can be easy to miss.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The patient gets the laboratory result.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The family gets the uncertainty.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Treatment Makes the Number Feel Personal<\/h2>\n\n

\n Once you begin treatments that affect your everyday life, a laboratory number\n can begin to feel like something more.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n There are appointments.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Medications.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Side effects.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Changes to your body.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Changes to your relationship.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Changes to your plans.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And somewhere underneath all of that is the hope that the treatment is accomplishing\n what it is supposed to accomplish.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That can make the next blood test feel like a report card on everything\n you have been going through.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I have to remind myself that it is not a grade.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It is information.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Important information.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But still information that needs to be understood in context with my healthcare team.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Living Between the Tests May Be the Real Challenge<\/h2>\n\n

\n The test itself is easy.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sit down.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Roll up the sleeve.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Draw the blood.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Go home.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The harder part can be everything between one test and the next.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Because I have a choice about what those 90 days become.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n They can become 90 days of waiting.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Or they can become 90 days of living.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That sounds simple.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It isn’t always.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But I am trying.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Cancer Exposed Something That Was Already True<\/h2>\n\n

\n Before diagnosis, I thought I had decades.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Maybe I did.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Maybe I didn’t.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n The truth is, none of us ever had a guarantee.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Cancer did not take certainty away from me.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n It exposed the fact that certainty had never really been there.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That realization is frightening.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But strangely, it has also changed the value of ordinary things.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Coffee tastes a little better.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Grandkids seem louder in the best possible way.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Hugs last longer.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Sunsets become worth stopping for.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Conversations that used to feel like they could wait suddenly seem more important.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n There is a gift buried somewhere inside uncertainty.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Today starts to matter more.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

The Number Does Not Get to Decide How I Live Today<\/h2>\n\n

\n PSA is important to me.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I pay attention to it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I want to understand it.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I want to know the trend.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n And when something changes, I want to ask what it means.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But there is one thing I do not want that number to control.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Today.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I do not want to postpone every plan because another blood test is coming.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I do not want every conversation with Sue to be about cancer.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I do not want to look back on the months between appointments and realize\n I spent them entirely waiting for the next appointment.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n That would give cancer far more of my life than the disease itself has already taken.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

\n\n

\n Something I Keep Reminding Myself\n <\/h3>\n\n

\n \n Cancer may get to measure my blood.\n It does not get to measure my hope.\n <\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n\n

So I Keep Planning<\/h2>\n\n

\n I am still going to make plans.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I am still going to dream about the motorhome.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I am still going to think about Alaska.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I am still going to make memories with my family.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I am still going to love my wife.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n I am still going to tell these stories.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Some plans may change.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Some may get postponed.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n Some may have to be rewritten entirely.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n But I do not want uncertainty making every decision for us.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

Questions I Ask When a Result Changes<\/h2>\n\n

\n I have learned not to assume I understand what a laboratory result means\n simply because I can see the number.\n <\/p>\n\n

\n These are the kinds of questions I want available when something changes:\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n\n
  1. \n

    \n What does this result mean in the context of my previous results?<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/li>\n\n

  2. \n

    \n Is the trend more important than this single result?<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/li>\n\n

  3. \n

    \n Do you want to repeat the test before making any decision?<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/li>\n\n

  4. \n

    \n Does this result change anything about the treatment plan right now?<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/li>\n\n

  5. \n

    \n Would additional testing or imaging provide useful information?<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/li>\n\n

  6. \n

    \n What are you watching for at the next test?<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/li>\n\n

  7. \n

    \n What would cause you to change course?<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/li>\n\n

  8. \n

    \n What am I assuming about this number that may not actually be true?<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/li>\n\n

  9. \n

    \n What question should I be asking that I haven’t asked yet?<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/li>\n\n <\/ol>\n\n\n

    A Laboratory Result Is Data, Not a Diagnosis by Itself<\/h2>\n\n

    \n This is something I have to keep reminding myself.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n One number can be important.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n It can raise a question.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n It can lead to another test.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n It can change a conversation.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n But I do not want to interpret it in a vacuum.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n I want to understand where it fits with everything else.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n The previous results.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n The treatment I am receiving.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n The imaging.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n The pathology.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n What my doctors are seeing.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n What we know.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n And what we still do not know.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n That is why I keep coming back to the same principle:\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n

    \n \n Never make an important decision based on a single piece of information.\n <\/strong>\n <\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n\n

    If You Are Waiting Too<\/h2>\n\n

    \n Maybe your test is not PSA.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Maybe you are waiting for a scan.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n A biopsy.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Pathology.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Blood work.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n A phone call.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Some answer that has the potential to change what happens next.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Then you probably understand this place.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n The place between knowing and not knowing.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n You are still living.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n But some part of your mind is standing beside the calendar waiting for the next date.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n I cannot tell you not to be anxious.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n I certainly cannot promise what your result will be.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n But I can tell you there are a lot of us sitting beside that same clock.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Waiting.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Hoping.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Still living.\n <\/p>\n\n\n

    What I Hope You Take From This Mile Marker<\/h2>\n\n

    \n Pay attention to your numbers.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Keep your results.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Know your trend.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Ask what a change means.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Ask what it does not mean.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Ask what additional information is needed before making an important decision.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n But between the tests, remember something else.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Your life is still happening.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Ninety days is not merely the distance between laboratory results.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n It is three months of mornings.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Dinners.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Conversations.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Family.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Sunsets.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Plans.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Ordinary moments that become extraordinary once you understand they were\n never guaranteed.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n I will keep checking the PSA.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n I will keep asking what the numbers mean.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n I will keep preparing for whatever the next Mile Marker brings.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n But while the clock is ticking:\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n I am going to keep living.<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n\n \n

    \n\n

    \n Continue the Journey\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n What to Read Next\n <\/h2>\n\n

    \n \n \n The Diagnosis\n <\/a>\n <\/strong>
    \n How a rising PSA trend eventually led to the answer I never expected.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n \n \n The Hormone Shift\n <\/a>\n <\/strong>
    \n What beginning two years of testosterone suppression meant beyond the treatment room.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n \n \n The Question\n <\/a>\n <\/strong>
    \n Why I learned never to make an important decision based on a single piece of information.\n <\/p>\n\n<\/div>\n

    \n<\/p>

    Watch the 90-Day Story<\/h2>\n

    \n I recorded this while waiting for another PSA result and MRI,\n when the uncertainty was very much happening in real time.\n <\/p>\n Every 90 Days, One PSA Test Decides What Happens Next<\/strong>
    \n     \n Watch on YouTube\n <\/a>\n

    <\/p>\n\n\n

    \n\n

    \n About Mike Jones\n <\/h3>\n\n

    \n Mike Jones is the creator of Jonesing For The Journey<\/em>, where he\n shares his first-hand experience navigating prostate cancer diagnosis,\n surgery, treatment, recovery, follow-up testing, and patient advocacy.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n JFTJ was created to help patients and families feel better prepared to\n ask questions, understand the information in front of them, and take a\n more active role in their own journey\u2014while remembering that life is\n still happening between the appointments.\n <\/p>\n\n

    \n Medical Disclaimer:<\/strong>\n This Mile Marker reflects my personal experience with prostate cancer\n follow-up and PSA monitoring. I am not a physician, and this content is\n provided for informational and educational purposes only. PSA results,\n testing schedules, trends, recurrence risk, imaging decisions, and\n treatment recommendations vary from one patient to another. Never interpret\n a laboratory result or make treatment decisions based solely on my\n experience. Discuss your individual results and appropriate follow-up with\n your own healthcare team.\n <\/p>\n\n <\/div>\n\n\n

    \n And So\u2026The Adventure Continues.<\/strong>\n <\/p>\n\n<\/article>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Every 90 days, one blood test has the potential to change the conversation about my prostate cancer. The draw takes minutes. The waiting can occupy your mind for weeks. This is what it feels like to live between the results\u2014and why I am learning not to let the next PSA decide how I live today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":597,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"0","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[29,81,76,77,75,79,82,78,80],"class_list":["post-594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mile-marker-journal","tag-cancer-journey","tag-prostate-cancer-follow-up","tag-prostate-cancer-psa-monitoring","tag-prostate-cancer-recurrence-anxiety","tag-psa-after-prostatectomy","tag-psa-test-anxiety","tag-psa-trend","tag-scanxiety","tag-waiting-for-psa-results"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=594"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":598,"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/594\/revisions\/598"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jonesingforthejourney.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}